Horrendous Headlines from Around the ‘Net

Commentary and Humor

Are you a stickler for proper grammar? Ever shrug your shoulders and sigh when encountering a particularly flummoxing phrase in your local newspaper, wondering how did that ever make it to print?

eNewsPF reader Phyllis Camplin sent us some woefully hebetudinous headlines that cry out for a copy editor:

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
– The paper added a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
– Of course it did.

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
– Now that’s takingthings a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
– What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
– Wonder why…

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
– See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
– Of course it does…

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
– Do ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
– Who would have thought?

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
– They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
-You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?!

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
– He probably IS the battery charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
– Hmmmm….

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
– Sometimes it’s hard to point the finger elsewhere.

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
– Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
– Think about it.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
– Again, give it some thought.

And the winner….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead